


Wide Awake While We're Dreaming

by PoynterJones



Category: Free!, Free! Eternal Summer - Fandom, Free! Iwatobi Swim Club - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Mermaid, Alternate Universe - The Little Mermaid Fusion, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Death, Drowning, Fluff and Angst, Free! - Freeform, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Iwatobi, M/M, Ocean, Sea, Swim, Swimming, Tragedy, Yaoi, club, eternal summer, free - Freeform, harumako, harurin - Freeform, makoharu - Freeform, maruka, nagirei - Freeform, reigisa - Freeform, rinharu - Freeform, sourin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-08 13:26:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoynterJones/pseuds/PoynterJones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Haruka Nanase is a twenty something year old chef with failed hopes and aspirations of being a superstar.  A once aspiring Olympic swimmer, Haruka lost the confidence and will to continue when he failed to save his oldest and dearest friend, Makoto, from a freak accident that caused him to fall overboard into the ocean one year on holiday.  Never fully recovering from the terrible tragedy, Haruka lives day by day filled with regret, never allowing himself to overcome what happened that fateful day.  Vowing to never swim again from that moment on, he attempts feebly to push forward in life, the death of Makoto weighing on him like a heavy burden.</i>
</p><p>
  <b>UPDATES EVERY SUNDAY</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wide Awake, Wishing it was a Dream

"Table Three asked for pork in their ramen, not mackerel." A flushed waiter pushed the untouched, steaming bowl of ramen through the hatch, huffing impatiently before tapping on the bench. "Wake up Nanase, that's the third order you've got wrong today and it's not even 12pm."

The dark haired boy stood with a bowl in his hand, a spoon in the other, whipping vigorously, frowning as he did so. "Forgive me, I will get that changed right away." He placed the bowl on the edge of the counter a little harder than he meant to and sighed. Turning quickly to retrieve the incorrect order he moved so abruptly that the corner of his elbow grazed against the edge of the dish he had just put down, sending it falling to the ground, the contents literally spraying everywhere, complimented with shards of porcelain from the smashed bowl. 

Today really was really not going the way Haruka Nanase intended.

He arrived back to an empty home, three hours earlier than his finish time. It was for the best that he took the rest of the day off, apparently. He was to take the rest of the day off to sort himself out. Slamming the door behind him as he entered, he kicked his shoes off against the wall violently and threw his apron in a random direction as he made his way through into the living area. Running his hands through his hair, he fell to his knees, hitting the tatami hard before slamming his fists to the ground. Silence. He held his breath momentarily before letting out a raspy sob, the patter of tears soon falling to the ground against the mats. Glancing up at the shrine that stood before him, a photograph of a cheerful, brown haired boy stared back at him, looking at him the same way he did every day. It was the family shrine, but the person residing there may as well have had been family. Haru closed his eyes and more tears squeezed from his lids and down his pale cheeks.

A year ago that day, Haru recalled to himself seeing the same boy smiling at him very much like he was in the photograph. He remembered him calling his name and laughing with him as they shared drinks with their other friends. He also remembered the storm. He remembered the announcement telling everyone to head back inside. The robotic sound of her words, stating that there was going to be heavy rains and it was safer to be indoors. He remembered when the first wave hit, not so big but big enough to knock Makoto off his feet. He remembered the look in Makoto's eyes, his outreached arms towards him as he fell to the deck. The warm, tropical rain that was falling from the sky, coupled with the cold water from the ocean. He definitely remembered that. He remembered how it felt against his skin as he struggled through the water towards Makoto. The last thing he could remember would be the usually luminous green eyes of his best friend disappear under the water before he could reach him, his own body being hauled back over into the boat.

Haruka gasped for air, choking out a sob as he realised he'd stopped breathing momentarily recalling the memories. Makoto was gone. His best friend was gone and he would never get to see him again. Pressing his hands together shakily he prayed, his body shuddering as he tried to control the sobs and fell forward, his hands splayed against the floor. He spat the last of his tears into the tatami mats beneath him, clutching at his chest, clinging to the necklace that hung there. Makoto and he had purchased them together as a graduation gift for one another. Haruka had a blue sapphire encrusted silver ring, a dolphin engraved the opposite side; Makoto a green sapphire encrusted gold ring with an orca engraved on the opposite side. Grasping at the necklace he lay there, Makoto invading his every thought process.

It had to have been at least forty five minutes before he moved, his tears long since dried up and his back aching from being hunched over for the best part of an hour. The doorbell rang shrilly again and again until Haruka could bear it no longer. Dragging himself through the rooms he head to the front door, opening it a crack. Three people stood there, the only three people who cared to visit anymore.

"Haruka-senpai, pardon our intrusion but we thought it best to come and keep you company this evening. I do hope that's okay?" The blue haired boy smiled caringly, clutching onto several plastic carrier bags.

"Haru-chan, we came for tea!" The short, blonde was the second to speak, a bright and cheerful smile on his face, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. "We brought mackerel!" And next, the red-head.

"Yo, Haru. How are you keeping?" Haruka did not speak but did not shut them out. Moving away from the door he wandered back through to the same spot that he'd been for the past hour and knelt down, this time a little more respectful.

The three followed him into the room and knelt beside him, their hands pressed together respectfully for a few moments as they bowed their head in silence. For a moment the house was silent, only the sound of a ticking clock filtering through the room before the peace was shattered.

"We all miss him, Haru. You did everything you could. More than anyone expected you to." The red haired boy placed his hand to Haru's shoulder before embracing him. "Makoto would be proud of you." Haru turned, his cool, blue eyes glazed over, staring deep into his fiery red eyes.

"But it wasn't enough Rin. I could have got to him. If I swam harder - faster. If I was a better swimmer I could have got to him." Haru buried his head to Rin's chest, clutching at his shirt. Glancing at the other two, Rin nodded towards the kitchen. Picking up on the tense atmosphere, they both stood up.

"R-Right Nagisa-kun, let's go start preparing dinner!" He gripped Nagisa by the arm and dragged him through into the kitchen along with the bags of food they had brought.

"Yes Rei-chan! Mackerel for Haru first!" They began to potter about in the kitchen, lighting the stove and retrieving the materials they needed before setting about cooking some rice.

"I'm not hungry..." Haruka muttered into Rin's shirt, his body moving closer to Rin's, the comforting warmth of his friend very welcome at this moment in time. Growling, Rin pushed his friend back.

"We brought you food, you're going to eat it whether I have to sit and force feed you." He smiled lopsidedly, jokingly squeezing Haru's arm. "Seriously though you have to eat, Haru you'll make yourself ill if you don't." Haruka didn't budge, sighing at his words. "I'll eat all the mackerel if you don't sit up properly right this instant." Rin pouted slightly, his ability to keep a straight face failing miserably, but it worked and tilting his head slightly, Haruka glanced at Rin through his fringe.

"Mackerel..?" Rin nodded and just as if timed perfectly, Nagisa came bouncing through, plates in his hands. He must have been crying so hard that his nose had blocked the smell of his favourite meal, as it had not yet penetrated his nostrils.

"Here you go Haru-chan, a big plate of mackerel, just for you! Sorry if it's not cooked right, Rei-chan fried it." He laughed, scratching his head as he placed the plate down in front of Haru.

"Nagisa-kun, I'll have you know I'm rather good at cooking, unlike someone I know!" Rei shouted through from the kitchen. "And come and get the rest of the food. Haruka-senpai is not just going to eat mackerel. There is rice and pickled vegetables here as well." Nagisa rolled his eyes and wandered back through into the kitchen to retrieve the rest of the food.

"You sound like my mother Rei-chan." An immense amount of giggling erupting from Nagisa in the kitchen and Rin rolled his eyes at the two turning to Haru.

"Come on Haru, eat up." Smiling, Rin had already plated him up some fish which was soon accompanied with steamed rice, pickled vegetables and some fresh tofu that Rin had picked up on his way from work.

They ate dinner followed by idle chit chat and talk of their day. Nagisa talked about how he had been so excited about a new potential job that he had managed to destroy some of Rei's scientific equipment back in their apartment because of his hyperactivity. Rei added of his distress and upset that Nagisa had ruined a month's worth of work that he was going to have to redo and Rin, being the police officer that he was, threatened to arrest Nagisa for damage of property to which he objected profusely. Haru felt a pang of sadness, his day being particularly awful, however that was soon dispersed as he saw the smiling faces of his friends sat around the table, laughing at one another.

Soon it was time for everyone to leave. Nagisa and Rei were the first, the two heading back to the flat they shared together - not before Rei had cleaned everything to perfection. Rin stayed a while longer, the worry he held for Haru obvious.

Stood at the front door Rin leant against the doorframe, his arms folded. "I can stay the night if you like?" Haru shook his head, glancing away. 

"That won't be necessary."

"I would rather stay, I don't want you to be alone. Not today." He raised his hand to Haru's arm, his fingers brushing lightly against his skin and leant in cautiously, his hand slowly slipping up to Haru's shoulder. His advances brushed off, Haruka took a step back.

"Goodnight Rin." Rin sighed, smiling and scratching the back of his head. It was always like this. Rin cared deeply for Haruka and had done for a very long time. Longer than he could remember but never once would Haru reciprocate his advances. He was even colder after the past year's events.

"Goodnight Haru. I'll see you later on in the week." Taking a step back, Rin smiled, waving and turned to walk away down the hill.

Haru was alone again. Flicking the lights off he wandered through to his bedroom and clambered into bed, still in his work clothes. Clutching at his necklace once more he clung to his pillow until his exhausted body gave in, allowing him to fall asleep into a not so peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to apologise about the angst! I swear it'll get better!!  
> And though this is a MakoHaru fanfic there will be slight hints at HaruRin, though whether Haru ever reciprocates Rin is another question (I think it's just one sided).  
> Thank you very much for reading the first part and I hope it was good enough for you to stick around for the next chapter!  
> And for those that are interested, the title of this story is an English translation of one of the lyrics in Future Fish!  
> Also, please feel free to check out my other stuff!  
> I'm also on Tumblr at ThoseSwimmingHomos.tumblr.com


	2. Wide Awake, or Actually Dreaming?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It's the year of Rei and Nagisa's Coming of Age ceremony. Finally old enough to call themselves adults what better way to celebrate than to book a holiday in a hot, foreign country exploring their new found freedom. Rin takes care of the details, booking the five of them in for a pleasant stay near the Great Barrier Reef in Australia and for a special diving session to see the beautiful coral and fish. The trip, however, takes a drastic turn for the worse and disaster strikes in the worst way possible._

Opening his eyes, Haru yawned and breathed in the heavy scent of mackerel no doubt coming from the kitchen. Glancing over the side of his bed the futon below was empty, the covers strewn across the floor. Smiling to himself he pulled himself from the warm confines of his duvet and let the smell of frying fish carry him towards the kitchen. No sooner had he entered the living room, a voice rang through, music to his ears.

"Good morning, Haru." Makoto's beaming face appeared, a plate of mackerel in one hand, rice in the other. "I didn't want to wake you, so I thought I'd make you some breakfast. Here, sit." The brunette placed the plates on the table before pottering back through to the kitchen. "I didn't know if you wanted tea or coffee so I made tea." He entered the room once more placing a teapot and some miso soup.

"Makoto..." Haru was never one for many words but the happiness that exuded his person said everything. Makoto smiled happily at him, a mouthful of rice preventing him from speaking.

Haru didn't need a girlfriend, like everyone continuously kept telling him. He didn't need to settle down. He had the kindest, caring best friend and his other friends to make him happy and that was all he felt he needed to be comfortable in life.

"Are you excited for today? I can't wait until we're out there, it's something I've always wanted to do. I bet Rei is having a hard time controlling Nagisa this morning. I can just imagine how hyper he must be."

The pair were headed out on a small boat tour along with Rin to the Great Barrier Reef, taking Rei and Nagisa to celebrate the pair's coming of age. The entire group were now officially adults and what better way to celebrate than to make memories.

It wasn't long before Nagisa had bounced through the door, his bags slung over his shoulder and an exhausted looking Rei - who had obviously not slept the previous night - in tow, soon followed by Rin. This was the group's first proper, adult holiday together and the atmosphere heading to the airport was electric. They allowed Rin to do all the talking once they had landed in Australia, fascinated by the words coming from his mouth, his thick English accent incomprehensible to them for the majority of the time.

The boat they were boarding was fairly small, allowing only thirty people on board, not big enough to live on, so they had booked a plush hotel overlooking the sea. This made Haruka especially happy. Rin, in charge of the bookings, made sure to book several rooms, one for Rei and Nagisa and two separate room, one for Haruka and Makoto and a single room for himself. He had been tempted to book a triple room for the three of them but backed down when Makoto questioned the sleeping space in a triple room.

The heat in Australia was a force to be reckoned with, Nagisa complaining every five minutes to Rei like a child about how he was going to have to drink a bathtub full of water when they arrived to their hotel and how he was going to be too hot to wear anything to bed. This, of course, prompted an argument between the pair about Nagisa's inability to retain personal information how he should be a little more subtle with what he was saying. Makoto and Rin discussed possible eating places for their dinner that evening. Torn between western food and Japanese food, they settled on curry from a small curry house in town. Haru remained silent the entire bus journey, other than to input 'mackerel' as to what they should have at tea time. He followed the coast silently as the bus drove parallel with the ocean, taking them to their destination. The water sparkled in the sunlight and in the distance he could see dolphins breaching the surface. A smiled played on his lips and he rest his head against the window as they continued along.

Eventually arriving at the hotel, Rin collected their keys and they went up to settle in their rooms. The hotel was a lot more plush than they remembered seeing in the brochure. Dumping his suitcase at the base of his bed, Haruka couldn't help but wander out onto the balcony, the view of the ocean from the fourth floor of the hotel breathtaking. Coming up behind him, Makoto leant against the wall of balcony looking down at Haru.

"Are you happy, Haru?" Glancing up at Makoto towering over him he smiled and stood up, leaning against the wall beside him.

"Very." Makoto placed his hand on Haru's shoulder and smiled, his thumb brushing over Haru's collar affectionately. 

"Hey, I want to tell you something... I-" A knock at the door interrupted the pair and Makoto, dropping his arm took big strides towards the door. It was Nagisa. It was always Nagisa.

"Mako-chan, Haru-chan, we're going to head to the beach for a bit before dinner, are you guys coming?" He was almost bouncing on the spot, his limitless energy showing no bounds. "Let's get some ice cream!" Taking a swipe at Nagisa, Rei gripped at the younger boy's sleeve and dragged him down the hall.

"We're heading to the lobby, Rin-san has already head down there. Couldn't wait, I guess." Nodding, Haruka turned to find Makoto behind him, his coat in his hand. Smiling, he gripped the clothing from him and they made sure to lock the door before heading downstairs.

The beach was beautiful; nothing like those back home in Japan. The sand felt soft between Haru's toes, warm and comfortable, much like the water that was lapping around his ankles. His body was on automatic, as it always was when it came to water, and within record time his clothes were in a pile on the sand, his legs moving towards the deeper water until he was floating quite happily about in the sea, Nagisa splashing about him at Rei who was trying his hardest not to get his glasses wet. Rin was asleep on the beach, the long flight having taken its toll on him and Makoto just sat in the shallow water, watching the others in the water.

It was sudden when the rain began, unanticipated and the five made their way hurriedly back to the hotel that was situated conveniently just across the road. A bright flash of lightening followed by the deep, booming rumble of thunder in the distance sounded.

"Awhh, I wanted to get ice cream!" Nagisa pouted, the raindrops dripping from his hair down his puffed out cheeks. "I hope that it's going to be better weather tomorrow! The boat trip isn't going to be very much fun if it's raining the whole day."

"I saw nothing of rain in the weather forecast," Rin frowned and slicked his wet hair back from his face. "Oh well, let's go and get something to eat and hope for the best."

The quintet braved the wet weather and head out once more, running into the nearest restaurant along the street, the curry they had planned earlier straight out of the window. Of course, Rin helped order, pointing out good things on the menu. Rei ordered a plain hamburger; stating that anything else would upset the balance of the burger. Nagisa went with kangaroo; of course wanting to be different. Rin ordered the double house burger, topped with cheese, barbecue pulled pork and onion rings; matching his appetite. Makoto chose bacon, lettuce and tomato, the name BLT intriguing him in English. And Haruka, of course being awkward, Haruka attempted to order mackerel burger, to no avail. He ended up settling with the 'Japan' burger; a thick, meaty pork steak in panko crumbs, Japanese mayonnaise and tonkatsu sauce.

Glancing out at the rain in a daydream, Haruka lazily ate the fries that accompanied his burger. The sky was a dark grey and the rumble of thunder in the distance was still persistent. He hoped it was going to be a better day tomorrow desperately. He wanted to go swimming in the ocean more than anything.

Back in the hotel it was already dark and Rin was already asleep, the amount of food he ate incapacitating him for some time. Rei and Nagisa had just got into bed, not before Nagisa had pushed the two single beds together to form less of a gap between the pair. Makoto had just left the shower, a towel round his waist whereas Haruka had already clambered into bed.

"Haru, I..." Makoto was sat at the edge of his bed, drying his hair wither the other towel. "What I wanted to say earlier." Glancing over at the boy in his bed who did not apparently move at his words, Makoto smiled pulling on his pyjama bottoms, sat down on the side of Haru's bed. "I just wanted to say thank you, for always being there." Haru rolled over to face Makoto. "I bought you something. I know this trip is for their coming of age, but I got something for us, for our graduation." Reaching over into his bag, Makoto pulled out a small, black box. From within the box he pulled a necklace that bore a silver ring, encrusted with a sparkling blue stone. "For you. For always working so hard, pushing yourself to the limit and just being there." Haru sat up and Makoto slipped it around his neck, clipping it round the back. "I have a similar one..." He rummaged through his bag until he found his own and put it on. "Though mine is gold."

"Makoto..." Haru's eyes sparkled, just as bright as the jewel on his necklace. Makoto could see the sheer happiness on his face, words unneeded between the two.

"Goodnight Haru, sleep well." And with that he flicked the light off, turning the air conditioner up slightly before falling asleep fairly quickly. Haru, however, lay awake for a while, fingering the ring that hung on his necklace, a huge smile on his face.

Regardless of how tired everyone had been the previous day, they were all up and raring to go at the crack of dawn. Carrying their bags to the port, they head to the ticket booth and Rin conversed with the attendant, handing over their pre-purchased, printed ticket confirmations and received nice, pristine boarding tickets along with diving equipment hire. They boarded the boat, which looked a lot nicer in person than in the brochure and took a seat inside along with the others sat there.

It was about half an hour until the boat was ready to set sail - half an hour too long according to Rei who was still in charge of controlling Nagisa and his hyperactivity. Once the boat had started moving guests were allowed to wander about, the lower deck having several plush, soft lounging areas, the top deck hosting a small bar and grill with seats and tables. Below the lower deck there were stairs to the loading port where guests could disembark if they wanted to enter the ocean. Cruising along the coast everyone took in the view, Nagisa constantly hanging over the edge of the boat with his camera to take photographs. He managed to get a wonderful shot of a pod of dolphins that swam alongside the bough for a while. Then the beautiful coastline from the boat. He even managed to get a picture of Rin-shark, sunglasses and all passed out in the sunshine. The boat came to a halt, anchoring not too far from some coral reefs after about an hour of sailing. It was now they were allowed to exchange their tickets for goggles and flippers so that they could enter the water. Of course, Nagisa was first in line and practically threw himself off the boat after obtaining his equipment. The majority of the people on the boat at least attempted to get into the ocean, the fascination piquing their interest, though there were some who remained on board, sunbathing.

"Ne, Rei-chan, look! Here! Look at this fish, it's blue, just like your hair! And this one, this one looks just like Rin-chan! All angry and red." Nagisa laughed to himself, fascinated by each and every little thing that swam past him, like a child in a sweet shop.

Haruka floated on his back in the sun, the feel of the warm seawater on his skin pleasant. Makoto swam up beside him, treading water and smiled. "It's nice, no? I'm glad we did this." Turning to Makoto, Haruka smiled and turned his head back to look at the sky. The sky was very cloudy but it was still warm, the breeze enjoyable.

Their dip in the sea was short-lived, the food on the grill now being served to those hungry on board. Unwillingly, Haru returned to the boat and they head up for food. Of course, by the time Makoto and Haruka had reached the top deck, Nagisa was already sat there, a plate piled high with meat and a separate plate filled with cakes. Eating their fill the group went to lie down aside Rin on the cushion pile that he had claimed for himself.

The boat tour itself was a full day trip, the vessel anchoring for enough time for another dive an hour or so after eating. It was Haruka's intention to get straight back into the water as soon as his stomach could handle it however the breeze had picked up, the clouds in the sky darkening. It was going to start raining, just like yesterday. Nagisa was the first to feel the spotting of rain and pulled everyone inside to the confines of the cabin.

"Awh, I knew it was going to rain." Pouting, Nagisa sipped at his drink. "I wanted to go back in the water." So did Haru. Desperately. There were still people outside, the rain not fazing them. The weather was still warm, the rain even warmer. 

It felt like no time at all until the wind had picked up full force, the boat rocking against the anchor line and the crew decided it best to leave the area and head the hour and a half trip back up the coast to port. This wasn't like yesterday at all. The rain was lashing against the window panes and the boat swaying back and uncomfortably. Rei was not present for the majority of this, his head hung over the bowl of the toilet, his stomach emptying the contents of the lunch he'd consumed not so long prior, Nagisa by his side, hand on back for comfort. Rin was making use of the free cocktails, drinking them like regular juice. There were still people clinging onto the rails however, the thrill of the storm much to their liking. It was only until an announcement was put out over the tannoy system for all remaining guests to return indoors as it was becoming unsafe.

"Ah, our bags are still outside next to the loungers!" Makoto frowned taking steps towards the door, tumbling into the table as the boat rocked hard to the left. "I'll grab everyone's stuff while I'm out there. I'll be back in a minute."

Pulling the door open he was blasted with a warm, sharp spray of water. The weather had turned quite dramatically and it was most definitely not safe for Makoto to be out on deck. Haruka watched intently as Makoto made his way across the deck, wobbling as the boat tossed and turned, his eyes widening, dread filling him as a wave breached the lower deck, knocking Makoto on his back. "Makoto!" He moved without thinking, straight towards the door and onto the deck.

By the time Haru had opened the door, a second wave had curled over the deck and this time Makoto wasn't to be seen as the water receded. Panicked, he ran across the deck, skidding, falling to his backside as he stopped to look down to the loading deck, then to the ocean. To his horror, Makoto's head was all he could see, breaking the surface of the water every few seconds. Grabbing the nearest life ring he threw himself down the ladders and into the ocean, not a thought into what he was doing and pushed through the overpowering waves towards his best friend.

The boat had slowed down, the three left on board alerting the crew of the 'man overboard' situation.

"MAKOTO!" Haru yelled with all his might, the salt water entering his mouth as he did so. His arms outstretched he tried to reach for him, the flotation device he held keeping him upright. His legs burned with a pain he'd never felt before as he kicked with all his might towards the brunette who was now in so much distress that he was not thinking straight. Just a few more lengths until he reached him. It wasn't far. But no matter how hard Haruka kicked his feet towards Makoto it seemed as though he was drifting double the distance away.

Panic set in as Haru's kicks slowed, his chest tight with panic. He was having difficulty swimming against the waves. The water had most certainly bared its fangs but was definitely not accepting him; not today. Not only that but Makoto's flailing was slowing, his resurfacing starting to cease. Makoto was drowning and there was nothing he could do about it. The mere thought of what was happening to Makoto was enough to push him harder and though his limbs felt on fire he pushed through the waves until he was alone. Makoto had gone - the last thing Haruka seeing was his pained eyes closing before going down. Haru dived under, his eyes stinging as he looked around helplessly for Makoto but all in vain. Gasping for air as he resurfaced, he choked out a sob, realising his uselessness and dived back under again, intent on finding him. He repeat this several more times until the panic truly set in and his body began to shut down, the sheer exhaust he felt unreal.

Haruka felt a tugging. He wasn't alone. His body was pulled from the water and over into the small dinghy that had been released from the boat. Immediately he tried to get back up and back over into the water. "M-Makoto... I need to get Makoto."

"No son, you need to stay here." Not understanding what the crew were saying made the situation even more frustrating for Haru. "In the boat. We'll find your friend." Haru understood the word friend and pointed to the water.

"In water. Makoto." Sobs wracked his chest as he came into realisation of what had just happened. He lay back on the floor of the dinghy, curling up into a ball and choked out the seawater than had entered his lungs along with an unnatural wail as the thought of Makoto drowning played on his mind. He was so close. So close to him, yet so far away. If he had been better at swimming... If only... A flash of lightning illuminated everything and he shuddered in fright his eyes closed tight.

Haru's eyes opened, his chest heaving and a layer of sweat trickling down his back. He whimpered, tears forming in his eyes and buried his face into his pillow. It wasn't the first time he'd had this nightmare. It was all his fault. If he had just been better at swimming he would have reached Makoto in time. Moments later his alarm sounded. Turning it off immediately he rolled back over, pulling the covers over his body, burying himself under the material. He wasn't going to go into work today if yesterday was anything to go by. Today was also not going to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like I needed to portray what happened out there rather than a brief mention so sorry again for much sadness. Like I said, it WILL get better, just stick with me here.  
> Hope you stick around for the next chapter and in the meantime, if you like, check my other short stories I've written ^_^  
> (Shares/Comments/Likes are deeply appreciated, thankyouplease)  
> I'm also on Tumblr at ThoseSwimmingHomos.tumblr.com


	3. Wide Awake, Reliving the Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Haru is drained, the nightmares taking a toll on his day to day life. He just can't seem to get over what has happened. Enter Rin. His attempts to bring Haru round certainly don't go the way he plans and an unimaginable chain of events occur soon after._

Haruka felt as though he hadn't slept in weeks. The same memories plaguing him every time he closed his eyes, waking up in the same cold sweat at the same time in the morning; every morning.

Working at the café eased the pain of it all to an extent. It forced him from his house and outside. It forced him to interact with real people and have somewhat of a social life. Prior to the events of the previous year, Haruka was the making of an Olympic swimmer. He'd just received word of an opportunity in the summer that was to be his big break. He was the best and everyone knew it. After returning from the holiday he was no longer the Nanase Haruka that everyone once knew him to be. He felt as though he was not worthy to be alive, let alone swim alongside the masters of the pool in the greatest competition in the world. The water had rejected him when he needed to be the best he could. He had failed. Since then he had not touched water. He hadn't even looked at the ocean as he walked past it so frequently to work, fear of painful memories flooding back in the back of his mind.

Walking to work that day, he recalled how he and Makoto used to walk home along the same promenade. How they used to do their nightly runs along the sandy concrete. The tears that had been spilled walking along the path as they discussed heartbreak and sorrow and the laughs as they joked about life. Memories. Haru didn't want that any more. Haru wanted to be away from everything. From his town. From Makoto. He didn't want to forget Makoto, no that was not it. He wanted to forget the things that would bring back the awful memories of what happened. He wanted to be somewhere there was no water. Somewhere where the ocean wasn't constant background noise.

Before he knew it, Haru had arrived at work. At least his job would keep him preoccupied. Ducking under the curtains Haru smiled at the head waiter - also the manager of the café - a big man, wrinkles under his eyes, a very tanned face and a very big smile.

"Nanase, nice to see you looking a bit happier. Would you mind starting half an hour earlier. Suzuki has had to leave early and it has been pretty busy." Nodding, Haru walked through the back and into the small, stuffy staff room, shoving his bag down in the corner. As he walked through, he tied the ribbons of his apron tightly and thrust his cotton hat onto his head. "Table four are wanting the okonomiyaki lunch set and the onigiri lunch set. Throw in some nori-ten as well!"

"Understood!" Haru pulled the ingredients he needed onto his counter and began preparation. 

He was a good chef. Almost as good a chef as he was as good a swimmer. The café in which he worked began to gain popularity after he took over as head chef last autumn and his mackerel dishes were said to be the best mackerel in Japan. His desserts came in a strong second though. His speciality was his matcha strawberry shortcake which, apparently, was what kicked started the customer boom.

From lunchtime until late, the restaurant remained steady, the flow of customers always constant and always coming. Haru had gone eight hours before he took a break, exhausted both physically and mentally, he curled up to himself in the corner of the café with a piping hot cup of coffee, a mackerel sandwich he had made for himself and a piece of his matcha strawberry shortcake. No sooner had he lifted the food to his mouth was he interrupted, a second body seating themselves at the table.

"Evening Haru. How are you?" The red-head that sat before him grinned manically, his navy uniform very smart on him. "I thought I'd pop by to see how you were. And to get some cake." Sticking his finger out, he poked it into the swirl of cream that was sat atop Haruka's cake and pulled it to his mouth, licking his lips.

"Get your own damn cake." Haru scowled, pulling the plate that had the cake sat atop it further towards him. Leaning on his hand, Rin smiled.

"I take it you're feeling better if you're back at work and eating cake. How about we go for a walk after you finish? There are a couple of things that I'd like to talk to you about." Taking the first bite of his sandwich, Haru continued to glare at Rin before looking away.

"I guess." Rin grinned a full, toothy grin at Haru and pat him on the shoulder.

"You finish at eleven, right? I'll swing by once you're done." Standing up, Rin grinned and leant over towards Haruka, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Without warning, he swiped at Haru's cake, taking two thirds of the cream from the top and popping it into his mouth proudly. "See you later Haru." Infuriated, Haru growled at him as he walked from the café chuckling away to himself. He always did that and he was never ready for it.

With only a short while left after his break, Haruka cooked up the last few orders and cleaned his kitchen before finishing exactly eleven on the dot. Sure enough Rin was waiting outside for him, this time in somewhat more casual clothes. Waving goodbye to the remaining few staff members, Haru turned his attention fully to Rin and frowned at him, holding his hand out.

"For you." He placed a small box in to his opened hands, containing a piece of cake, and glanced away. "There's no cream on the top though, that's your punishment for taking mine!" Rin could do nothing but laugh and pat Haru's arm lightly.

"Thank you, Haru." 

"It was just going to get thrown in the bin." Grinning even more, Rin slipped his fingers through the handle and carried it by his side.

The two set off, heading towards Haruka's house and halfway along the promenade, Rin stopped. It took Haru a few seconds before he realised that Rin wasn't walking anymore and took a few steps back towards him. Sighing, Rin grabbed Haru by the arm and blinked, looking down at his feet before looking into his eyes.

"Haru, I..." Rin could feel his heart pounding against his chest, every gently crash of the waves as they rolled up the beach crashing in rhythm with his heart. "There's something that I've been meaning to tell you for a while now." Cocking his head, Haru frowned, completely oblivious. "Haru, you're one of my best friends and I want you to be happy." Letting his arm slip down Haru's, it felt by his side. "I want to be the one to make you happy. I know everything that has happened this past year has taken a toll on you and it has strained our relationship a little but I want to go back to when you weren't afraid to let me in." 

It was plainly obvious what Rin was trying to get across to Haruka and quite frankly, though he knew that the red-head had feelings for him and that he was always quite persistent, he wasn't aware that he felt so strongly about it. Sometimes he believed it was just a fleeting feeling. A love of their friendship, but no, the words coming from Rin seemed more than just something a friend would say. Shaking his head, slowly at first, Haru pulled his arm back.

"We can't. I can't." Rin's brows furrowed, a pained expression. This was something he had heard all too often.

"Why, Haru? You know how much I care for you and how much I want to care for you! You know that I want to make you happy so why can't you let me!?" They were silent for a moment and Haruka sighed, taking a step back.

"Rin, you know why. You know that I-" Snapping, Rin stepped back forward, closing the gap between the two.

"Makoto is gone, Haru! I know it was hard on you. It was hard on all of us, you weren't the only one who suffered because of him dying. But you need to get it into your head that he is gone. He's gone and you can't do anything to bring him back." With tears forming in the corners of his eyes, Haruka felt as though Rin had blown a hole through his chest with each and every word that fell from his lips.

"How dare you. How DARE you. You have no idea how I felt... How it felt to have the chance to save his life and to have lost it. You have no clue, none of you do! You have no idea what the nightmares are like. What it's like to wake up every night not being able to breathe after having to reliving the same day over and over again every single night. You have no idea!" Haru's voice was raised, his anger levels through the roof. Haruka was usually quite grounded, not one for showing his emotion, but Rin's words were a catalyst to his rage and he snapped.

Taken aback, Rin bit his lip, a little shocked and upset at Haru's words. He knew that Haru had been affected by Makoto's death more than the rest of them but he had no idea the inner turmoil that he was experiencing. "Haru, I..." Trailing off, Rin lifted his hand to comfort Haruka but was countered by a backhanded slap, deflecting his advances.

"I'm sorry Rin, I care about you. I care about you more than you could possibly know but I can't... I have to go." Pushing past Rin, he took steps down onto the beach that he despised ever so much and walked in the opposite direction.

"Haru, your house is that way!" Rin stood there, worried somewhat for his friend. Haru shouted his words, never once looking back.

"I'm not going home!" Shoving his hands into his pockets a small sob rattled his chest and tears began to stream down his face.

He walked for some time, realising after fifteen minutes that Rin had not followed him - something of which he appreciated. Now that he had time to calm down he realised the words he had spoken to Rin were out of order. He would have to apologise to him in the morning. It was true what he had said though. Rin was his friend and he cared about him very much but even with a strong force of emotion, it was not enough to block out what he had once felt for Makoto. Subconsciously his hand rose to his chest and before he realised what he was doing his fingers were clasped around the ring that hung on his necklace. It hurt. It hurt so much.

Reaching the end of the cove, Haru finally glanced back. The sky was dark and the sound of the waves entered his ear. Turning to look out at the ocean, the tears began to well up once more and he perched himself down on one of the many rocks that protrude from the sand. He sat there for a long while, not knowing exactly how long but long enough to realise that the tide had risen high enough to reach his trainers. His eyes were bleary from the tears that he had cried and his nose blocked.

"Why did you have to go, Makoto? Why did you have to leave me? You promised me that you would come and see me win the gold at the Olympics. You promised me that, remember? You p-promised me and y-you said that we would b-b-be-" Unable to finish the sentence, Haru broke down once more, sobs pouring from him as he wrapped his arms around his body, his face buried in his knees to contain the shaking.

A splash caused Haru to jolt upright, hiccoughing as he did so. Sure enough, out in the water there was an ever growing set of ripples. Turning his head immediately to look around there was no one. It was probably just the water hitting off the rocks out there, he thought. Sniffing, he twitched his nose and yawned. He'd tired himself out further with all the crying. Rubbing his eyes he stood up and glanced out at the water, the light of the moon reflected. He had forgotten how beautiful the ocean was. Another splash and his eyes were focused on the same spot as before, this time he was able to see something. From behind the rock a small lump appeared, emerging from the water slowly and though it was dark, Haru was almost certain it was a person. Frowning, he spoke, a little uneasy at what he was seeing.

"O-Oi!" At the sound of Haru's voice it turned to face him. It was definitely a person.

At the speed of light they disappeared under the water and Haru's heart beat soundly against his chest. What if they were stuck? What if they were stranded? And as if the past year of torment had never even existed, Haru's clothes were off at the speed of light and he was wading out, waist deep towards whoever it was. The water was almost at shoulder height before he reached the rock and clung to the stone as he glanced around. Whoever it was, was no longer there. Confused, he pushed away from the rock and went to head back towards the shore and that's when it happened. A tight grip around his ankle his entire body was pulled underwater, the air from his lungs emptying almost immediately, the unsuspecting fright of something happening so suddenly a little too much. Clawing at the water he tried his hardest to drag himself back to the surface. The water there wasn't too deep but there was something keeping him there and if he didn't get to breathe soon he would surely drown. His chest was now burning and his body had ceased flailing to see what exactly had a hold of his leg. Turning his head he was met with two luminous pairs of green eyes; one a dark green, like that of turquoise and the other pair... The other pair an unusual green. A green he had seen before. The same green eyes that had looked at him with glee as he joined the swimming club for the first time. The same green eyes that had cried when they won their first tournament together. The same green eyes that sparkled more beautifully than any precious stone on the planet.

They always said that when you were about to die your life flashed before your eyes. Every happy thought and memory would flood back to you and the thing most precious to you would meet you to take you the rest of the journey. Makoto had come for him.

Haru smiled, closing his eyes before blacking out. Finally he was at peace.

Spluttering, Haruka felt the burning sensation returning to his chest, now having spread to his throat as the salt of the seawater passed from his lungs and out through his mouth. Retching, he rolled onto his side in the wet sand, throwing up the contents of his stomach as well as another mouthful of water. Gasping for air, he rolled onto his back and gazed up in a daze, the world spinning. As the darkness began to focus he realised that he was not alone and that two eyes were looking down at him. His eyes widened as he realised who it was.

"M-Makoto?" That ever so familiar smile that he had had missed so desperately caused a chain reaction of emotions to stir within him.

"Hey Haru."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shock, shock horror!  
> Stay tuned for the next chapter. All will be explained. ;P  
> Thank you, as always, for reading! And thank you if you take the time to give share this story with others or give kudos/comment/bookmark/subscribe. It really means a lot to me, so thank you.  
> I'm also on Tumblr at ThoseSwimmingHomos.tumblr.com


	4. Wide Awake, Actually Living the Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _With Makoto's sudden appearance, Haru's world is turned upside-down. The best friend he thought had died only a year ago was alive, real and there. Or was he?_

Haru could not believe who he was staring up at. The best friend who he thought had died almost exactly a year ago was leaning over him. The same beautiful green eyes that always used to look at him with admiration. The same beautiful smile that always reassured him that everything was alright. The same beautiful Makoto that made his life complete.

"M-Makoto, I don't-how... What are you-where...?" Finding the words unable to form a sentence, Haruka stuttered as his chest tightened, this time because of the overwhelming surge of emotion that was coursing through him. Hot, wet tears began to drip down his cold skin as sobs bubbled their way past his lips. "I'm dreaming. This is a dream. Or I'm dead. I drowned, that's what it is, and you're here with me now."

He shakily pushed himself up, his body weak and exhausted, still in shock and stared at Makoto, the real Makoto who was kneeling before him. His eyes glanced over his tanned skin, pearly droplets of water rolling down his body as he moved. Another observation Haru made was that the brunette was lacking somewhat in the clothing department - not that Haruka paid much attention to that, rather more the fact that Makoto was alive and breathing and sat there in front of him.

"It's really me." His eyes creased as he smiled and Haru sobbed louder, raising his hand and punching Makoto in the chest gently.

"How could you be here!? You're dead. You died. I watched you drown, Makoto. I watched you drown right before my eyes." Haru began to shake as the words began to pour out, his emotions getting the better of him. "I tried so hard to save you and I couldn't."

"Well, I'm here Haru." He continued to smile, his hand clasping around the fist that continued to pound at his torso, holding it to his heart. "And I'm alive." Haru could not help the tears once more and fell against Makoto's chest, shuddering as a high pitched wail left his throat. The bigger boy wrapped his arms around Haru, his comforting embrace soothing him in next to no time, hushing him into silence.

"How? How are you alive? How is it even possible?" He mumbled tiredly against Makoto's wet chest, still in disbelief.

"It's a miracle I'm alive, Haru. A miracle that I don't even think you would believe." Makoto smiled, shifting on his knees and began to describe the events that took place from his perspective. "Everything turned dark and the once warm water had turned cold. My arms were in pain trying to keep myself above the water and I physically couldn't keep going. I remember a horrid pain in my chest and everything turning black. Through the darkness I saw someone with dark hair and bluish eyes. I truly believed that it was you, Haru until they grew closer. Their hair was shorter, but still as dark and their eyes were not blue but turquoise. But this was no ordinary saviour. I could not believe what I was seeing before me; I genuinely thought I had died already because something like this was what you would read about in fairytales. He was a merman, Haru. A real, live merman. He had a beautiful long tail the same hue as his eyes, shimmering under the water as he swam. He wore a pendant around his neck and from it pulled what looked like a small pearl and before I knew what was happening, he had forced it into my mouth. The immense pain I felt after is not something I want to recall but it lasted for an age. I remember him bringing me to the surface for breath before pulling me back down. The next thing I know, I can breathe underwater and my legs are no longer there. I don't know what it was that he gave me but it literally saved my life. I owe him my life Haru." Haru sat and stared, glancing down at Makoto's legs and cocked his head seeing regular legs rather than the tail he had boasted about.

"That's impossible. Mermaids aren't real... Makoto that's impossible but you're here and... Where is your tail?" Tittering, the brunette stroked his legs.

"I apparently have legs out of water." Frowning, Haru was completely mystified. He was not sure if he could comprehend the information that he was being given. He was sure that this must have been a dream but here Makoto was, sat in front of him, telling him this - alive. Finally coming into realisation that it really was Makoto, Haruka's care for all things out of the ordinary went out of the window and he grit his teeth, glaring at Makoto, the anger beginning to bubble, the emotion finally reaching him, tears cascading down his cheeks.

"Why now? Why haven't you tried to get in contact with any of us? Do you know the hell I have been through this past year? Do you know how much I hated myself for not being able to save you, Makoto?" Haru stared up at Makoto, his eyes burning red, puffy from the tears and pouted, his bottom lip quivering as the emotions began to run high, unable to keep calm. 

"I wanted to Haru, so much. You have no idea how much I wanted to. I have spent every day in the cove waiting here for the day that you would come down to the beach. I've always been here but you never came. Why did you stop coming to the beach? All you needed to do was come to the beach." He blinked sadly, staring back and raised his hand, running his fingers through Haru's hair. "I've missed you."

"You can't begin to imagine how much I've missed you, Makoto." Tears welling at Haruka's eyes once more, he leant up closing the gap between the two. His eyes fluttering closed, his heart skipping a beat, their lips met and an overwhelming heaviness entered his chest.

"Not as much as I've missed you." Pressing his lips against Haru's once again, he deepened the kiss, pulling his head closer. The heaviness in Haruka's chest grew, dizziness overcoming him as their tongues danced together until his lungs felt as though they were on fire.

Something was not right.

Opening his eyes, Haru was no longer staring into the comforting, warm eyes of the one he loved, nor were his lips against his plump, enticing lips, but staring into the fiery crimson eyes of the one who loved him and his cold, wet lips pressed up against his own, breathing air into his lungs.

"Haru! Haru, oh God. God..." Pulling Haruka into his arms as his eyes opened, Rin clung to his limp body, the pair sopping wet. "I didn't think you were going to wake up, I got so scared." Burying his face into Haru's neck he stifled a sob and whimpered. "What in hell's name were you thinking!?" Haru pulled back, dazed and confused.

"Makoto... Where's Makoto?" Rin sighed, pulling Haru close.

"Haru please, you've got to let him go. He's gone." He frowned and rest his hand on Haru's shoulder, rubbing his thumb soothingly against the wet material of his shirt.

"But he was here, Rin. He was just here, I swear. What happened? Where did he go?" Shaking his head, his tone a little softer than earlier, Rin pulled Haru back into him, comforting him.

"He's gone, Haru." He paused momentarily before taking a deep breath before speaking. "I felt awful leaving you on such a bad note. I understand you must have felt worse than we did and I'm truly sorry for what I said. I decided that I had to come back to apologise and you weren't at home so I figured you would still be down here and when I saw you in the water you gave me the biggest fright. What the hell were you playing at?" Haru pulled back and glanced over Rin's shoulder towards the waves gently lapping up against the sand, the moonlight causing the wet sand to glisten as the water receded.

"I'm not lying Rin, he was here! The reason I went into the water in the first place." Pushing back, determined with his story, Haru pointed. "That rock. I saw someone at that rock. It was definitely a person, it was like they were watching me. I shouted to see if they were okay and they disappeared just like that. I thought to myself, what if they were to drown, just like Makoto. I was here and I could save them so I went out. It wasn't so far but I got there and no one was there. The last thing that I remember was something grabbing my legs and then going under. Then Makoto. I saw him under the water. Makoto was here Rin, I swear." Frowning, Rin sighed and pursed his lips, obviously not believing the story.

"You've had a bit of a shock and I think I need to get you home and into the bath to warm you up. I don't care what you say, I'm staying the night. There's no way I'm going to leave you after what has just happened." Frowning sadly, Haru looked into the water longingly. Makoto was there, it was definitely him. "Come on."

Rin helped Haru stand, his arm around his waist and the pair walked along the beach together, Haru looking back every so often into the rippling water, expecting to see something but nothing ever appearing. Reaching Haruka's house in about ten minutes, Rin ran him a hot bath and gathered some dry clothes for both himself and Haru.

"I can bring a futon through into the living room if you don't want me in your room, I just don't feel comfortable leaving you alone tonight." Shaking his head, Haruka wandered into the bathroom, peeling his sodden clothes from his body.

"I don't want to be alone." Haru felt hollow. Makoto's voice, his touch, his taste all felt so very real. He wanted nothing more than to be pressed up against Makoto once more but it wasn't possible. 

Perhaps it was a figment of his imagination, but what would have possessed him to go into the water if there wasn't some valid reason. There was definitely someone or something there, Haru was sure of that. The thoughts continued to plague him through his bath and into the morning. It was about 2am when the pair managed to settle down, Rin aside Haru's bed on a futon, Haruka above him in his bed. Rin had managed to doze off sleepily with ease but Haruka had great difficulty even closing his eyes. The luminous green of Makoto's eyes burning a hole in his memory. Something so vivid surely could not have been a dream, yet Rin was the one who had resuscitated him and was the one who was really there when he came to. It took him an age to try and convince himself it was all in his mind, the scene playing out whilst he was unconscious. That would not stop him from going to the beach the next night to look again. He wanted to be sure. Though there was no way for Makoto to have survived the waves and no way for him to return to Iwatobi if he had defied the odds, Haruka wanted to be one hundred percent sure that what he had seen that night was a figment of his imagination. That he wasn't going crazy over the bereavement of his friend and that his sanity was still intact. Finally managing to close his eyes, Haru fell into an uneasy sleep, not knowing what tomorrow would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading! And I apologise if I got your hopes up.  
> Things are progressing though, don't worry!  
> Comments/kudos/subs/shares are very welcome and definitely appreciated.  
> You can also find me on Tumblr at ThoseSwimmingHomos.tumblr.com


	5. Wide Awake, Eyes Wide Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Haruka doesn't want to believe that he's going crazy but he swears to himself that what happened that night was too real for it not to have actually happened. He seemingly begins to spiral into an unnatural obsession over his deceased friend and continues to wait for Makoto but when something finally transpires, it's more than bargains for._

Haruka sat in the corner of the restaurant, his head in his hands. His chopsticks lay aside his plate, his mackerel and rice untouched, the strawberry on his cake having slid from the cream to the plate. The images and sounds that permeated his thoughts were vivid, alluring and distracting him from the reality of life.

Ever since that night at the beach, Haruka had barely eaten, barely slept. He had barely done anything in fact, those luminous green eyes that were so deeply ingrained into his mind preventing him from doing so. He was going out of his skull thinking about what happened. He saw something that night, that he was sure of. He went out into the water to find out what it was that he could see. Again, that he was sure of. It was the events that took place directly after that was his problem. The transition from what transpired between he and Makoto and he and Rin was clouded. Makoto's touch, his warm embrace against Haru's cold wet body, his lips against his own felt so real. But then opening his eyes to Rin, that was definitely real; Rin had brought him home and put him to bed. So how did Makoto come into it?

His train of thought was interrupted, the scrape of his plate being dragged across the table. Glancing up he found Rin, strawberry in his mouth, a smile on his face.

"You know Haru, you really should use your breaks more wisely." Holding the pair of chopsticks in his hands, he pushed them towards the chef.

"You should be doing your job instead of bunking off all the time." Pulling the plate with his cake on back towards himself, he scowled at the unnecessary distraction.

Rin had begun to frequent the café more often, during his work hours as well. Haruka knew exactly what his friend was doing and did not appreciate the constant surveillance. He, of course, was happy that his friend cared about him enough to look out for him but was not pleased at the thought of him not being able to trust him and his decisions. It was not as though he was going to make any rash decisions like sit for hours on end at the beach in the pitch black, hoping for Makoto to appear at any moment. Nor would he swim the shallow waters at dusk, hoping to see something out of the ordinary. The thing that Haruka remembered most vividly were the words Makoto spoke, telling him of his presence. That he had just needed to come to the beach. That he had always been waiting at the beach for him. So that was what he was doing.

"Are you working tonight, Rin?" He gazed over his cup of coffee, his eyes darkened the lack of sleep fairly obvious.

"Nope, I finish early. I was planning on coming round to pick you up after work and get us a takeaway."

Since that night in the beach, Rin had taken it upon himself to get closer to Haruka, his obvious affection always present. He knew about Haru's late night strolls and was always there, making sure to keep his patrols in the area the nights that Haru was out. When off-duty he accompanied Haru, helping scan the ocean for abnormalities. Then it hit Haru: what if the reason that nothing was happening or that Haruka had not seen anything since was because Rin was always there watching him, checking up on him. Frowning, Haru glanced up and sighed, picking up his chopsticks and shovelling a few mouthfuls of rice down before claiming he was full.

"I was thinking about getting an early night tonight, I'm not feeling so great." A lie that Haru hoped Rin would not see straight through. "I think I might be coming down with something so perhaps it would be best if you just went straight home after you finished work instead of wasting your time with me." Pushing his cake back towards Rin, he picked up his half eaten plate of mackerel and sighed. "Have the cake. I've got to get back to work now. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night instead?"

Rin raised his eyebrow, the look of discontent obvious on his face. Just as Haruka thought, the red-head did not like what he was hearing. Standing up, the chair screeching, Rin strode towards Haru, grabbing him by his wrist, pulling him back.

"Haru, wait... I can still come around. You can't not eat anything, let me make you something light and then I can-" Snapping, Haru pulled his arm back, growling, a scowl on his face.

"Rin, for one night, please, just let me be alone. I appreciate you coming round and I appreciate you keeping me company but I just want to be alone." Blinking, Rin frowned, Haruka's words taking a few moments to sink in but hurting like the blade of one thousand knives penetrating his heart as it hit him. "Go back to work. I'll see you tomorrow or something." And with that Haru walked back into the kitchen, never once turning back to look at Rin, who was still left standing there, his mouth somewhat agape.

It wasn't just the fact that he wanted to go to the beach alone, he genuinely wanted some space as well. After what had happened that night at the beach Rin really had been to see Haru every day, whether it be in the café or at his house. He'd got into a routine of spending the night at Haruka's at least once a week and Haru was never able to deny him of that. Haruka knew of Rin's feelings towards him and knew that this was probably his only chance of getting close to him, having declined his advances several times, making it perfectly clear that he was not ready for any kind of intimacy between the two, now or in the near future.

The rest of Haru's shift dragged awfully, the words he had spoken to Rin earlier playing heavily on his mind. He didn't want to come across as harsh but the more he thought about it, the more he really did just wanted some time alone. He missed lying in the silence of his room and cooking and eating dinner just for himself. He would apologise to Rin the next time he saw him; blame it on him not feeling well or some other little white lie as such.

Dragging his feet behind him as he walked home in the dark he sighed, pulling his coat open from around his chest. The evening was warmer than usual and that made him smile to himself slightly. He intended to look for Makoto again tonight and without the distraction of Rin, he felt somewhat optimistic. Walking along the edge of the beach, he closed his eyes and sighed, the sound of the waves rolling up the beach somewhat calming and he took a few deep breaths before jumping down onto the sand. Glancing behind him he made sure that there was no one there and wandered down to the shoreline, following the water along to the small cove near the end of the bay where no one would see him. Placing his bag atop one of the many rocks, Haru stepped from his trousers, his swimming shorts underneath and removed his coat, unbuttoning his shirt. If nothing happened again tonight Haru could at least rule out Rin being there the problem.

The moon was bright, brighter with no clouds in the sky. Haruka gazed into the pool of water that was before him, surrounded by giant rocks and sparkling white sand. He recalled memories of a time when he and Makoto used to play here, swimming in the hidden cove and having fun together as they did so. The wet sand between his toes felt like heaven and the tepid water pleasant against his feet. He wade out until the water was waist deep and pushed out, his body gliding into the darkness. He knew the shoreline like the back of his hand and the fish and sea life that resided there were harmless. He had become more accepting of the water over the past few weeks, this being the first time he had actually swam in the ocean of his own accord for a very long time. He had forgotten how wonderful it was to feel the silken water wash over him, the feeling that bubbled in the pit of his stomach when he swam. He had forgotten how much he had loved to swim and how much he craved it. Floating on his back, Haruka had almost forgotten the reason why he had come here that evening and rolled over onto his stomach, sighing before glancing around. Frowning, he opened his mouth and called out quietly, ever so softly as he did so.

"Makoto... Makoto are you here?" 

A few minutes of calling his name and Haruka sighed, paddling over to a rock, pulling himself up onto it in the middle of the cove. His feet dangled in the water and he hung his head sadly. Deep down he knew that Makoto wasn't coming. That all of his effort, everything he had done and everything that he had put Rin through the past two weeks was all for naught. Makoto was gone and he needed to accept that, as much as his heart didn't want him to.

"Makoto... You idiot. No, it's me... I'm the idiot." Staring down into the water at his reflection, small ripples began to curl around his ankles, the tears dropping from his eyes causing the disruption in the water.

Haru sat upon the rock in the middle of the cove for a while, his body refusing to move. He had to convince himself that he would get cold if he stayed out there any longer to actually give him the motivation to even think about moving. However, the most peculiar thing prevented Haruka from moving from the rock and took his attention away from the shoreline but to the arch of rocks that led to the main current of the ocean. A small splash, enough to cause ripples bigger than those that had already floated away into nothingness beneath him grabbed his attention and his heart fluttered, his stomach churning. The ripples were rapidly spreading, quicker than a normal flow of water and Haru was sure he saw the silvery sparkle of something under the water. Before he was able to stand to get a better view he was pulled from the rock, something curling his way around his ankle and pulling him under.

A sense of déjà vu swept over Haru, as well as a wall of water as his body slid from the rock, the jagged edges of stone digging into his back, carving blood red patterns into his skin as he fell underwater. The same sensation he felt the last time he had gone under, the same slimy grip around his ankle and the same teal eyes, glowing through the darkness, though this time they were much darker, instilling a fear in Haru like nothing he had ever felt before. This time he was face to face with what had pulled him under, its eyes boring deeply into Haru's before narrowing, the pupils dilating, much like cats eyes. In the darkness Haruka could make out a face - humanlike - with patches of silvery scales across its cheeks, short, dark brown hair floating gracefully in the water. As his eyes began to adjust more and more, his oxygen began to lessen, the familiar burning feeling arising in his chest. Haru raised his hands, flailing in the water towards the surface as the desperate need for air dominated. Haru no longer had anything holding him down and pulled himself towards the surface, taking a deep breath, choking as the air hit his face. No sooner had he gulped down some precious oxygen was he back under the water again, this time the creature above him, pushing him down. It was only then that Haruka saw exactly what the thing was in its entirely; a human face and body attached to a long, silvery tail. This thing was a mermaid and judging by the way in which he was being dragged under, not a very friendly one at that. Confirming his fears, Haruka's heart almost stopped as its eyes furrowed, its mouth opening wide, baring a set of fine, thin, comb-like teeth. He held his hands up in front of him, bubbles of precious air flowing from his mouth in panic and sobbed internally.

It was a daze after that; the only thing Haru remembering being a strong current against his body before being dragged up to the surface and taking the biggest breath possible, choking as he did so. His body was pressed up against a warm body, his arms wrapped tightly around their neck as he was swam to shore, the water feeling strangely warm as it skimmed his skin. Still clinging to whoever it was his entire body shook, the shock of what had just happened now kicking in.

"It's okay, I've got you." Haruka stopped breathing, his grip tightening around the one who was holding him. It couldn't be...

Laying Haru down on the sand, a warm, welcoming smile beamed down to a shaken Haru, who lay in shock, his eyes wide open staring up at the one above him. It took him a brief moment to compose himself before he could stutter out his words, still quite shaken by the whole ordeal. "M-Makoto..?"

Makoto was there, definitely not a figment of his imagination this time. Reaching up, Haru allowed his fingertips to brush across his cheek before threading them through his hair.

"It's really me." Smiling, Makoto pressed his hand to Haru's and closed his eyes sighing. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't get here sooner." He opened his eyes, the comforting green sparkling down at Haruka.

"Wh-What just happened, I don't understand. Did I nearly just die?" Frowning sadly, Makoto glanced back to the water and then back at Haru who had proceeded in sitting up to look out at the water also.

"He's a bit of a handful, I'm sorry." Confused at the statement, Haru raised his eyebrow, looking out at the water and shaking his head.

"Who is? Tell me what just happened. What was it and why did it try to drown me?" Looking to Makoto for answers, Haru groaned, clutching at his back. The cuts he had obtained from being dragged from the rock were throbbing, a bit deeper than an average graze.

"What is the matter?" Shaking his head, he shrugged, grabbing Makoto by the arm.

"Just a few cuts from when I fell into the water. Tell me what just happened Makoto." Haruka squeezed gently at his arm and glanced over his shoulder to see ripples in the water, something spherical breaking the water's surface.

"His name is Sosuke. He was the one who saved me that night I fell overboard. Sosuke is a merman Haru and uhm..." He glanced over his shoulder to the middle of the cove to watch Sosuke plunge back under the water. "Well, I guess you could say I belong to him." Scratching his head, Makoto looked away, his gaze somewhat distant. "And considering I am his he doesn't like you, because I have too much of an attachment to you and this place. I'm assuming that he was probably toying with you, trying to scare you, though I could feel great hostility coming from him so I'm glad I got to you in time. I don't know what he would have done if I hadn't been so near."

Haruka could not believe anything at that moment in time. He was in utter shock that Makoto really was alive, that he wasn't going crazy, and that he had very nearly just died because of a jealous fish person.

"But you're really alive. You have no idea the torture that I have went through the past debating on whether or not I had dreamt our meeting or whether I had actually lost my mind. I came almost every night for you, Makoto. I waited but you never came and the longer I went the more I thought that I was going crazy." Gazing sadly at Haru, he brushed the wet strands of hair from his face before speaking.

"I couldn't let Rin see me. You must promise me, Haru, that you will not tell anyone of our existence. In exchange for my life, I have been sworn to the side of Sosuke and meeting with you the last time I very nearly lost the life he had given me." Haru glanced back out into the water and noticed that Sosuke had grown dangerously close now, his eyes glowing fiercely in the darkness as he emerged from the water.

Stepping from the shallows, the silvery tail that once donned his lower half had melted away into nothingness, much like an ice cube melting under heat and he stood, towering over the two, his rippling pectorals glistening as the droplets of water cascaded down his bare skin.

"If word of our existence is uttered to a single soul, his life ends, as does yours." He growled fiercely, exerting his dominance amongst the three of them. "The only reason I'm allowing him contact with you right now is because it makes him happy and I can't bear to see him any other way. That and his mood brings me down, being connected with him." Resting his hand atop Makoto's head, Sosuke rubbed gently, affectionately caressing his scalp. He watched as Makoto's eyes slipped closed and nuzzled against the big hand that was touching him.

Haru felt an overwhelming surge of anger build up within him. Who was this Sosuke person to dictate how Makoto was to live his life. So what if he had saved his life? Pushing himself up shakily, he squared up to Sosuke, gritting his teeth.

"How dare you decide how he should live his life. You didn't have to save his life in the way that you did... You could have just dragged him to the beach and left him there." Smirking, Sosuke leant down, looking Haru directly in the eyes, his pupils dilating once more as his temper began to reach his limit, his patience for the human run out.

"I could drown you right now and no one would ever know about it. It has been a long time since I've tasted the flesh of a human, you don't know how tempting it is..." Haru had not realised it but Sosuke had a tight grip on his arm, his sharp nails digging into his skin painfully.

"Sosuke..." The pair glanced down from their spat to find Makoto in between the two, his arms wrapped around Sosuke's thigh. "Please don't hurt him, he means a lot to me." Nodding up, the muscly man urged Makoto up so that he was standing aside him, his body, though defined, not as well built as the sea swimmer.

"I won't hurt him so long as he doesn't hurt you. And so long as he keeps his promise." Leaning in, he pressed his lips to Makoto's, glaring at Haruka before softly before turning and walking back into the water, the small waves curling around his ankles. Slowly but surely the pale skin that once adorned his legs was now flaking into silvery scales until they were covered and he dived back into the water, the last Haruka seeing was his long, flowing tail sinking under.

Haru felt sick to his stomach. The fact that thing had complete control over Makoto's life was too much for him to handle. Not just that but the way he paraded about like he was better than Haru. What Haru didn't realise was that a lot of the anger he felt was because of intimacy the two had when Haru had wished for nothing more for the majority of his life.

"Haru..." Snapped from his thoughts, Haruka gazed at Makoto through the darkness, who was now standing before him. He took his body in fully, this not being the Makoto he was used to seeing. His body had grown somewhat, his muscles a lot bigger than Haru could remember, small silvery green patches of scales donning his forearms and cheeks when he was wet. His eyes were still the same though, a warm, comforting green that now had a slightly luminescent glow to them.

Haruka dove towards Makoto, his arms immediately around his waist as he buried his face into his neck, squeezing tightly. This time he was sure that Makoto was real. That what transpired here tonight was very real.

"Makoto, come to my house! Please, I'm begging you. You can lie in the bath if you need water and I can make you warm food and we can-" Pushing the smaller boy's body back, Makoto pressed his finger to Haru's lips, smiling.

"Not tonight. I don't think Sosuke would be too happy. I promise you that when I am ready I will come for a little while. I never thought that I would say this, but I miss your mackerel." Chortling to himself, Makoto pulled Haru back in, his fingers running down his back as the two embraced but pushed away almost immediately as Haruka winced, whimpering as his big hands brushing over the cuts on his back. "Does it hurt?"

Haru turned around, showing Makoto his back and he frowned, a few grazed cuts and a deeper cut, still trickling a little blood across his spine. The rock he had been dragged from could have done much worse so he was thankful that it wasn't too bad. It still hurt like hell however and Haru hung his head. Before he could turn around, Makoto was on his knees, his hands holding onto Haruka's waist for support, his nose pressed against the clammy skin of Haru's back. The stinging sensation that followed paralysed Haru, Makoto's tongue lapping tenderly at the cuts, his thumbs rolling in soothing, circular movements as he did so. Quite soon the pain had disappeared, replaced with that of the most uncomfortable one, Haruka rather embarrassed to turn around due to his slightly arousal of Makoto's mouth working at his body. Almost at the point of his knees giving way, Makoto ceased, resting his cheek against Haru's lower back, his arm now around his thighs.

"Come back soon. I miss you." Pressing a small kiss to Haru's back, Makoto stood, walking into the water. "I have to go but next time I promise we'll spend more time together."

Following him, Haru felt panicked, not wanting Makoto to leave so soon. He wanted to spend more time with him. Wanted to talk about everything. He wanted everything to go back to normal. Running into the water, he followed Makoto, a pained look on his face, as though he were about to cry.

"Makoto I..." Haru had so much to tell Makoto. He wanted to tell him about how he had felt the past year, how he had not coped. He wanted to tell him that he no longer swam and that Rin had been so kind to him. A little too kind. But he wanted nothing more than to tell Makoto that he loved him. He had missed his chance once, he didn't want to miss it again.

"Next time, Haru." Smiling, Makoto held up his hand waving ever so slightly and before he even had a chance to react, he was gone. All that was left was the rippling water that quickly reached him. With just the sound of the waves now and the chirping of crickets from the nearby dunes, Haru knew that he was alone.

He stood there for a while, staring at the same spot that Makoto had disappeared and eventually mustering the will to move he wade back to shore. Pulling a tee-shirt from his bag, he slipped it over his wet torso and wandered slowly along the beach, his eyes never leaving the water for fear that he would miss something. It took him a lot longer to reach home, walking past the Tachibana household a lot more suffocating than normal, the heavy burden of knowing their son was alive crushing him.

Kicking off his shoes, he threw his bag to the ground and walked into the kitchen. He had initially decided to have a shower and go straight to bed but hunger prevailed. There was a small bag atop the kitchen table and he frowned, pulling out a small box. A piece of paper fell from the bag as he opened the box, revealing a small portion of rice and fish with what looked to be some sort of glaze. The note was in a familiar, rushed handwriting and Haru sighed, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

_'Sorry if I made you angry. I'll stop coming round to the café so much. I just worry about you. Please take care of yourself and I hope that you feel better soon.'_

He knew that Rin meant well, he just so happened to cross him on a bad day - saying that, most days were a bad day. Sitting at the table, he ate the entirety of the bento, not realising just how hungry he really was, after not eating his lunch that afternoon. It was good. Rin knew exactly what Haru liked and how he liked it and that made Haru happy. Pushing the box across the table, he chose to wash it in the morning, much like choosing to have a shower in the morning, his body exhausted from the evening's events.

He felt as though he should be happy that Makoto was alive but there was something deep within him that kept niggling at his conscious. There was something that prevented him from rejoicing though what it was, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. 

Collapsing in bed his eyes fluttered shut almost immediately, sleep consuming him faster than usual. It had been quite a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading!  
> So, I did promise that it would get better and it's only taken five parts, so yey.  
> For people wondering, the SouMako is more like a master/servant kind of relationship. Sosuke is quite smitten with Makoto because he's kinda like a new toy, if that makes sense?  
> If you enjoyed, I really appreciate any form of feedback whether it be comments/kudos/subs or shares, it means a lot to me if you could!  
> You can also find me at thoseswimminghomos.tumblr.com


	6. Wide Awake in a Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _With his knowledge of Makoto and his wellbeing, Haruka begins to perk up, much to the suspicion of Rin, who has been in an peculiar mood with Haru ever since the night that they argued in the café._

Haruka could not help but smile as he strolled along the beach, his eyes crinkling in sheer bliss as he chuckled to himself. Perhaps it wasn't the most normal of ways to be acting but he was happy. For not even a week ago, Haru had found out that his best friend, the one of whom was supposed to have passed away just short of a year ago, was still alive. Though it was not the best of situations, Makoto having been reduced to a mere slave, a pet if you would, and not being allowed out of the water, Haru was still overjoyed that he was alive.

However, though it was time for rejoicing for Haru, Rin was the first to pick up on his change in mood, his normal solemn self long gone. The red-head had become awfully wary around Haruka since their words with one another in the café. Rin wanted nothing more than for Haru to be happy and if distancing himself from the raven-haired man was what he wanted then who was he to deny his request. Though he was visiting Haruka less, Haru noted that Rin's attitude towards him had become a lot colder, his words a lot more abrupt than he was used to. The last time he could remember Rin being like this was in high school, a quarrel leading them to falling out for almost an entire year. Not wanting to disrupt the peace, however, Haruka thought it best not to touch upon it, the reason more than likely being because he was told to back off and didn't like it.

Haruka sat atop the rock that he had become ever so familiar with over the past few weeks and stared out into the open water. It was quite bold of him to come here during the day and he knew that it was going to be hit or miss as to whether he'd be able to see Makoto. There were people about during the day and it was not the most convenient of places to remain hidden.

The warm, summer breeze tickled his face as he stretched and he pulled out a small lunchbox, crossing his legs. If Makoto wasn't going to be here, then he'd at least eat the lunch that he had made for himself. No sooner had his lips enclosed around the onigiri that he had prepared, did he hear the melodic sound of frolicking in the water. It was music to his ears hearing the water splashing, knowing the one creating the sounds was the one that he had come down to the beach to see.

"Oi, Makoto..." Standing up, Haruka grabbed kicked off his shoes before wading into the water, making sure only to go shin deep.

Hearing Haru's voice, a familiar mass of sodden brown hair emerged from the water, followed by the captivating green eyes and then the smile that Haru found himself craving more and more every day. Makoto made his way towards Haruka and crawled from the water, the scales on his legs dripping from him much like the water that was cascading down his tanned skin.

"Haru!" Makoto always used to be cheerful but upon seeing Haruka, was definitely that little bit more happy. "Today is a great day! Sosuke has something important to take care of today and he told me that I was allowed to swim free. Usually I'm only allowed to swim no more than twenty metres away from him but today he let me go! Isn't that great." He grinned, standing tall above Haru.

Haruka was never one for being phased by things but he was somewhat awkward at the sight of Makoto, the boy now having legs rather than his long, flowing tail. And with legs came the rest of the package. Though he'd give anything for him to remain that way, Haru was still coy nonetheless and rummaged through his bag pulling out a beach towel, shoving it towards Makoto's lower regions.

"People will think that you are an exhibitionist or something if you don't cover up. We don't want to draw people's attention to you, especially since people are still under the impression that you are, well, dead..." Haru sat back down, taking another bite of his ball of rice and chuckled to himself.

"Haru?" Makoto wrapped the towel around his waist, the material hanging loosely on his hips and he sat down aside Haruka, glancing at the morsels of food he was pushing into his mouth.

"It's nothing. I just can't believe you're still here." Haru turned to Makoto and smiled, handing him one of the onigiri, carefully wrapping a piece of seaweed around the rice before allowing him to take it from him. "Here, I made extra just in case you were here."

"Let me guess, Mackerel filled?" His lip curled to the side before taking a bite, his eyes widening as his taste buds took in the flavour. "Tuna!? Is there something wrong with you, Haru?"

"I thought I'd make something different today. I know that you probably got sick of me making mackerel all the time." Taking a smaller bite from his second ball of rice, Haru grinned. "Mine are mackerel, yours aren't." Pouting, Makoto reached over and grabbed Haru's wrist abruptly, holding him steady and curled his lips around the sticky grains, taking a rather large bite.

"I told you I missed your mackerel." Scoffing with his mouth full, he grinned, his cheek bulging with food.

Blushing, Haruka pushed the rest of the food into his mouth and glanced away, watching the water lap up against the sand before him. This was nice. He wished that they could do this more casually. He wished that everyone knew about the fact that Makoto was alive. Sighing, he turned back to face Makoto, only to jump back slightly, the taller boy directly in front of his face. He laughed and shuffled closer, a more serious look on his face.

"Ne, Haru, will you come back later tonight? There's something that I need to tell you without Sosuke hearing." Blinking several times, the raven haired boy smiled lopsided and nodded.

"Of course I'll be back tonight. I've got to do a small shift at the café to cover a sick chef but I'll be here." Standing up, Haru gave the last of his food to Makoto who, in exchange for the rice, handed over the towel that he was wearing.

"Good, I'll see you then." Turning away Makoto clearly shoved the entire rice ball into his mouth before walking into the water.

"Later." Packing the towel into his bag, Haru glanced up but Makoto was already gone.

Heading back up the beach he checked once more over his shoulder but Makoto had really disappeared. He wondered what it was that was so important that Makoto needed to tell him later on. He didn't mind so much, it just meant that he could see Makoto again. A gentle breeze blew against his face, the warmth wrapping itself around his neck and all of a chill ran down his spine. He glanced around and - lo and behold - there was Rin standing on the promenade, police uniform adorned. He waved and smiled, Haru reciprocating almost immediately, the chill worsening. What if Rin had seen Makoto? An unease fell over him and he wandered up the beach towards the red-head.

"Yo Haru, you sure spend an awful lot of time on the beach now." Freezing up, Haru glanced away trying to play off his suspicion.

"Not particularly." Rolling his eyes Rin smiled and cocked his head a heavy silence falling between the two. "I've got to get to work. I'm covering for someone today." Stepping up onto the path, Haru came face to face with Rin, his red hair flowing gracefully across his face as the wind blew against him. Haruka could tell just by looking at him that he hadn't been sleeping well.

"Oh, better let you go then..." Thrusting his hands into his pockets he turned to go, the sadness on his face obvious.

Gritting his teeth Haru couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty, his words no doubt the catalyst. He could never reciprocate Rin's advances but that did not in any way mean that he needed to treat his friend, one of his best friends, the way that he had been.

"Oi, Rin..." Turning back to Haruka immediately, Rin smiled happily. "If you're not busy later on this week, come by and I'll make you some cake. Just cake though, as an apology for how I spoke to you." Nodding, Rin grinned and thrust his hands into his pockets.

"I'll be there." Waving, he turned on his heel and walked off leaving Haruka standing by himself.

Haru watched for a while as Rin walked away and sighed shaking his head. He thought it best to call Rei and Nagisa later on as well, Rin not being the only friend he had neglected over the past few weeks. He contemplated many things walking to the café but the initial thought was of Makoto and what he wanted to tell him later on.

His shift went by pretty uneventful, the short hours passing by quicker than usual. He made sure to clean up as quick as possible, an unconscious want to see Makoto driving him. Leaving the building he found his legs carrying himself to the beach faster than his average walking speed. Where it would take him fifteen minutes at his usual walking speed, he hit the sand in just over five, running towards the small cove that had become his second home.

Haruka arrived at the small enclave of rocks and found a lone person sat on the rock that he had come to become ever so familiar with. Makoto turned, hearing Haru approaching and smiled, his eyes glistening in the moonlight.

"Finish early?" Puffing out his chest, Haru took a deep breath. He hadn't realised but he had practically ran the entire way there so he was somewhat out of breath.

"I-I did, yeah." Bending over Haru pulled the towel he had from his bag and lay it on the soft sand, sitting down on it. Makoto shifted from the rock and sat down beside him, wiggling his toes in the sand.

"The sea is beautiful tonight. I always loved it when the moon shone across the water." Haru glanced out to the water and sighed happily.

"Yeah, me t-" His eyes widened as the warmth of Makoto brushed against his cheek, his lips briefly brushing against Haruka's skin. Turning towards Makoto a blush fell upon him and he froze, his eyes staring deeply into Makoto's.

"Haru, about what I wanted to talk about, now that Sosuke isn't here. It's something that I should have told you a long time ago. I nearly didn't get the chance to tell you after what happened last year." Reaching over, Makoto took Haruka by the hand, both hands clenching tightly as he spoke, his gaze never leaving the other's. "You're my best and closest friend Haru. We've had some ups and some downs but we've always been together. I uhm..." Looking to the side it was obvious that Makoto was nervous but Haru squeezed back, his heart pounding against his chest. Turning back, his eyes were glistening, his own heart pounding against his chest. "I love you Haruka and I wish to God I had told you every day before this..." Motioning towards his legs he sighed. "Before this happened."

Makoto fell silent, his eyes watching over Haruka's every facial movement; the way his lips parted, how his cheeks flushed pink as his chest heaved slightly and the flaring of his nostrils as he exhaled. The gap between the two closed and for the first time they shared a proper, real kiss. This was not like the confused kiss when Makoto had pulled Haruka from the water. This kiss was a kiss filled with love and affection. Makoto let go of Haru's hand and brought the back of his fingers up against his jaw, stroking the skin affectionately. Pulling away slowly, the pair brushed noses, smiling like schoolchildren, pecking each other before Haru whispered softly.

"I love you too, Makoto, so much. You have no idea how long I've wanted to tell you that." 

Cupping his cheek, Makoto pressed his lips back to Haru's, his body moving closer, his arm slipping over Haru's waist to the other side of his body. Tilting his head, Makoto sighed, his lips parting the other's gently, their tongues meeting in their passionate embrace. Using his weight, Makoto slipped his leg over Haru's so that he was now straddling the smaller man, his bare thighs rest gently upon Haru's clothed ones. There was no complaint as the pair continued, Haruka wrapping his arms around Makoto's neck, pulling him more into the kiss, their lips now moving a little more frantically. 

As the brunette pushed himself against Haru's body, he could feel himself getting more overwhelmed. He'd wanted to do this for the longest of times. He had wanted to kiss Haru. Touch Haru. Tell Haru that he loved him. Now he had done that he wanted more. He wanted for the pair to become one, so that they had that inseparable bond that only soul mates had. Moving his lips to the underside of Haru's ear, Makoto whispered seductively, his warm breath tickling his skin.

"Let me make love to you, Haru..." Pulling back, Haruka's eyes widened and he stared seriously at the man before him. Makoto's eyes continued to glow in the moonlight, his heart pounding against his chest as he gazed lovingly down at his beloved best friend.

"H-Here?" Shifting about on the towel, Makoto lay Haru's body down, towering over him and smiled, nodding.

Slipping his hands under Haruka's shirt, Makoto found that his chest was tight, holding his breath as he did so. His fingers found the erect skin under the material and rolled his fingertips over the peaks, a whimper sounding from deep within Haru's chest. Pressing his lips to his stomach, Makoto gently pinched the skin, Haruka's back arching slightly as he hissed.

"G-Gentler Makoto..." Haru splayed his hands across Makoto's back, stroking and touching every inch that they could reach.

Haru glanced down at Makoto who was now making attempts at unbuckling his trousers, smiling to himself. This was all he had ever wanted and now it was happening it was simply surreal. Before he realised it, Makoto had already delved into the confines of his underwear, fishing his semi-erect length out and had wrapped his lips around his head. Sinking his mouth all the way down, Makoto took Haruka in whole, easily hitting the back of his throat as he did so. Choking back a cry of ecstasy Haru's immediate reaction was to cling to the first thing that he could get his hands on and that just so happened to be Makoto's head, his nails digging into his scalp as he continued to work his mouth and tongue up and down his shaft.

"Does it feel good, Haru?" Makoto allowed his tongue to loll from his mouth, lapping at the oozing liquid that continuously spouted from the tip of his length. "I want to make you feel good. I want this to be perfect." Kissing down the hard muscle, Makoto focused on his thighs, his lips dragging across the sensitive skin of his upper leg.

Haru felt like fire was coursing through his veins, the sheer pleasure the was the result of Makoto and his mouth too much for him to handle. Pulling him back up so that they were parallel, Haru took Makoto's mouth with his own once more, the pair locked in a passionate embrace. Makoto was not able to stay there long, however, his lips focusing on the more erogenous areas, mainly Haru's neck and shoulder.

Makoto was always nude when he emerged from the water, his legs always appearing as the water disappeared but Haru was very aware now of his naked body up against his own. The initial shock was gone but the arousal was definite. He had to prevent himself from gazing at his body usually but now he was free to do so and free to let his body react in the way that he had longed. As their crotches brushed together Makoto curled an arm underneath his smaller frame and the pair sat upright, Haruka in his lap, his hard length pressing up against his backside. Makoto's lips were immediately at his chest, his tongue flicking expertly over his nipple as his fingers webbed over his cheeks, squeezing naughtily.

"I can't wait any longer Haru, I want to be closer to you." Gently rocking his hips against Haru he lay a trail of kisses across his chest, up his neck and to his lips until they were joined together once more.

Holding both of Haru's hands in his own, Makoto linked fingers with his left hand, bringing the right to his mouth. Taking his index and middle finger into his mouth he gently began to suck, gazing deep into Haruka's eyes as he did so, his tongue swirling erotically in and around the digits. Haru stared back, his eyes glazed over at the overwhelming feeling of what Makoto was doing. It wasn't just that but the way in which he was staring at him that made him extremely aroused. The painful throb of his length broke the trance and he whimpered, biting his lip.

"I want to do it but you need to be okay with that, Haru." 

Without a second thought Haru pulled his hand from Makoto and reached behind himself gently inserting a finger, wiggling it about gently. Coupled with that was Makoto's mouth once again encircled around his nipple, his fingers curled tightly around aforementioned throbbing length, gently pumping away as Haruka pressed a second finger into himself. It didn't take long until Haru was directing Makoto's thick shaft to his entrance, now used to the feeling of intrusion. Slipping himself down onto Makoto he grimaced, the feeling of his length a lot different from his own fingers. Holding onto Makoto's shoulders he slowly eased himself down until he had taken the entire thing, panting softly at the overwhelming pressure of him filling him up. Whimpering, he pressed his forehead against Makoto's chest, his legs shaking slightly and to remedy the discomfort Makoto began to rub soothing circles with his thumbs into Haruka's lower back as he started to move.

It took a while until Haru was fully adjusted to the feeling of Makoto being inside him but when he was, his hips were soon to move of their own accord, his arms hanging loosely around his neck, their lips together once again. Makoto's big hands were next to wander, his turn to touch Haru in every possible place; his coarse fingers dragging over the contours of his shoulder blades, which were contorting with each movement Haru was making against Makoto. His spine, the tips of his fingers bumping down each notch in the bone as he reached the small of his back before pulling him in closer, his hands slinking back up to his neck, pulling him into a kiss once more, his fingers entwining with the chain around Haruka's neck. One hand there, the other at the base of his back, Makoto shifted, laying Haru down on the towel beneath him, the two never once parting. Now Makoto was towering over him, his hair flopping down over his eyes and he glanced down lovingly at the man beneath him. He truly loved Haruka and this was the most important thing that he could ever possibly do with Haru, he wanted to make sure it was going to be memorable.

"I'm going to move a little faster, Haru. Tell me to stop if it gets too much." Leaning down he placed a small kiss to Haruka's lips, who proceeded in sighing, his eyes fluttering shut never getting the chance to reply.

True to his word Makoto picked up the pace, his own breath catching in his throat and a series of moans released as his pent up feelings began to escape. Though being hidden by the rocks of the cove they were still close enough to be heard by passersby if they were too noisy so the pair concealed their moans, muffling them with messy kisses, groaning into each other's mouths dampening the sounds. Haru had felt nothing like what he was currently feeling and he was sure by the way Makoto was throbbing inside of him that he felt the same way. He was close by mere penetration alone and feared touching himself would send him over the edge quicker than he'd like yet he craved the feeling more than anything. Against his will he slipped his hand between them and curled his fingers around his painfully hard length, pumping immediately in time with Makoto's heavy thrusting. Of course Makoto could feel that Haruka was close; how could he not, the twitching and spasming causing the smaller man to clench around him which in turn was furthering how much more he could physically take being inside Haru.

"M-Makoto, I'm close, I can't..." Wrapping his hand around Haru's he added to the pleasure and fell in closer.

"Come with me..." Pressing his lips to Haru's he picked up the pace for those crucial last few moments before feeling Haru's body begin to shudder, his own climax just around the corner, kick started the moment Haruka began to convulse. Panting heavily he came harder than he had ever came before, his breaths short and sharp. "I-I love you Haru..." Pressing his shaking lips to Haru's the kiss was reciprocated immediately as was his verse.

"I love you too, Makoto. So much." Clinging to the bigger man, Haru pulled him more into his body, holding them both together a little while longer.

Who knows how long they lay there together, it could have been five minutes, it may have been thirty. To Haru it felt like a lifetime - and in the best way possible. They lay in silence until each of their breathing regulated before Makoto, sitting up, smiled down.

"Here, I think we need to clean ourselves up a little." Holding his hand out, much like he had been doing for Haru all his life, he helped him up, pulling him into his arms and holding him tightly once more. "Come..." Taking Haru's hand, he pulled him towards the water, Haru always fascinated by the transition from legs to fin as the water consumed the lower half of his body.

Makoto, still holding onto Haru, swam to the middle of the pool in the small cove and pulled Haru into his body, the long, flowing fins of his tail curling protectively around his legs. This was the first time Haru had come this close to Makoto in this form, the feeling of his tail like silk against his legs.

"I wish we could stay like this forever." Holding onto Makoto's waist, Haru sighed voicing his opinion and looked up at him sadly, his eyes sparkling like the most perfect aquamarine. "I don't want to have to go home, I want to stay with you." Pulling Haruka into him, Makoto sighed, he too sad that they would soon have to part.

"I am glad that I got to spend tonight with you. For us to have shared something so special together. I could not have wished for anything more perfect. Perhaps one day I can make the trip to your house and we can spend time there." Kissing the top of Haru's head Makoto sighed before tensing. "But for now I must go and you must too, though I'd rather spend the entire night with you." Taking Haru back to the more shallow water, Makoto gave him one last kiss, sealing it with another declaration of love.

"Why do you have to go so soon?" Haru dried himself down with a rather sandy towel, frowning as Makoto slowly backed away.

"Sosuke is near, I have to go." Nodding, Haru understood, sighing sadly. "I shall see you again though, very soon." Smiling, he blew Haruka a kiss before disappearing just like he always did.

Haru watched the water for a long while hoping that Makoto would return but he never did and so proceeded in pulling on his clothes. Sitting on the rock for a while he felt sad that he was unable to embrace Makoto properly, through until the morning much like he would have preferred but ended up smiling at the fact that he felt the same and had reciprocated the love that he had kept built up over all those years.

Walking a little uncomfortably back home, Haru couldn't help but keep smiling to himself, his heart aflutter at the new feelings that had surfaced. Those of unconditional love and want. It was definitely a night that he was never going to forget and one that he hoped would re-visited at a later date. As he pulled his clothes from his body he clambered into bed, the cool sheets feeling comfortable against his hot skin. He knew that tonight he wouldn't sleep but it wasn't something that bothered him. He grinned for the umpteenth time that night and clutched the cloth to his bare chest, his heart pounding like crazy against his ribcage. All the darkness and sorrow that had once filled his heart was now replaced with bright, cheerful feelings and Haru had never felt better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for the length of time it has taken me to post this, I've not been feeling so great the past few weeks. Thank you for sticking with me though, I appreciate it!  
> I also appreciate comments and shares and stuff. It's nice to get feedback for what I'm writing and it makes me happy as well.  
> You can also find me at thoseswimminghomos.tumblr.com


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